“I’m so sorry, work got crazy and I couldn’t get home.”
“I’m so sorry, shit hit the fan and I had to help a friend.”
“My kid got sick, I just couldn’t make it, again, so sorry!”
“I want to see you so much, but things got thrown my way, and I just couldn’t leave.”
“It’s not my fault. Life happens. This was out of my control…”
Any of these above messages sound familiar? Do they sound like something you have said, or something you have heard?
I call Bullshit! Yep! I am calling out bullshit on these excuses.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, “Rebecca, shit really did come up! Things were really out of my control! I can’t just tell work, sorry, I have to go.” I get that, and completely understand that things do arise and we all have to juggle multiple tasks. However, there are very few times when one does not have a choice, and those times are usually a matter of life and death. I empower you to start taking responsibility for your choices and how you prioritize your actions. The above examples are examples of prioritization and choice.
Humans have a funny relationship with the word prioritization. If someone tells you they are prioritizing someone else or something else over you, there is a pretty good possibility it will feel a bit harsh. What’s interesting though, is when someone tells you, “they are so busy” or “something came up,” they are singing the same words, just with a different tune. “I am so sorry, I got so busy,” really means, I have prioritized something else over you. Does that make sense?
Once you get that, it becomes easy to see when you are and are not a priority. That is step one. Step two is a bit more challenging. There is nothing wrong with your choices or someone else’s choices. They simply are choices. It’s the meaning you attach to a choice that brings emotions to the equation.
How can you ensure you prioritize what’s important to you to make a choice that best serves you?
This goes back to your values. If you are not familiar with your personal values, I strongly recommend embarking on this powerful discovery. In the meantime, consider the feelings that come up for you when you begin looking for ways to dodge or indulge in certain moments.
If your choice does not feel good, take this as an opportunity to pause and reconsider how you would like to prioritize your choice. For example, if you strongly value community and someone at work asks for help, it is easy to explain to another person that your priority is to assist your team with completing the task at hand. When you know your values, you accept and prioritize opportunities that align with your values. This way, an excuse is no longer needed! How liberating is this?
Take and share the power of values, prioritization and choice. I implore you to empower yourself and others to take responsibility for their actions and express yourself authentically. It’s time to reflect, what is an area in your life that you can choose to prioritize differently?